We're doing fine...

1. In case anyone has been wondering, we're doing just fine. I survived my first week as a real (resident) doctor, so did the boys, and so did my patients. The Stephens have had some serious bonding time in my absence:

And Stephen Jr. has apparently learned to watch baseball with his dad, ha.

2. In all seriousness though, it's been hard. There have been tears on more occasion than one, and I miss him desperately. Fortunately ER shifts are so incredibly busy and it's so powerfully overwhelming to all of the sudden carry the responsibility of a physician (even a baby one) that I haven't had much time to think about it. But when I leave to go pump breastmilk for him or I'm nearing the end of my shift and faced with staying late or I see a baby on my pediatric shifts, I miss him...really miss him.

3. But then I get to come home to this, and lots of baby snuggles, and the world is ok again.

4. I'm finally finished with his birth story (I think? No matter how much I tweak it, it doesn't feel like I'm doing justice to the momentous story of a new human coming into the world) and I'll hopefully be (over) sharing it on the blog...so if you're a fan of birth stories in all their glory (not ashamed to share the details) check back in the next week or so.

5. My brother got married two weeks ago and I fully intended to recap it on the blog...but one half-written draft post later, it's prob not gonna happen. I did share some pics over on the 'gram, and I can't help but share what Stephen Gabriel wore (full disclosure that this outfit that I was ridiculously excited about lasted all of 15 minutes and the rest of the night he was in the backup sleeper I packed). Anyways, at least we got some good pictures.

What Stephen and I wore (and what Stephen Gabriel really wore):

6. On another note, I tried Stitch Fix (that's my referral link...if you sign up, I get a small credit toward my next Stitch Fix if I decide to do it again, and you get your own referral link that you can pass on) for the first time.  If you've never heard of it, it basically involves filling out a style profile after you sign up and then paying a $20 styling fee to have 5 items shipped to you. I wasn't crazy about the fee, but it goes toward anything you end up keeping. I bit the bullet and signed up after talking to my cousin, who had a baby two months before me and said that it really helped her to find a few things that work for her during this crazy postpartum/breastfeeding time. Here's a sneak peak of the loveliness that was in my 'fix' and I'll share some reviews soon...

7. Last but not least, Freshly Picked so graciously sent the sweetest pair of baby moccasins for Stephen Gabriel aaaand they're giving away a pair of your choice to one lucky reader. You can find the review/givaway here. 

My shift tonight will round out close to 80 hrs in the emergency department this week, but this is my weekend off (we get one off per month) and I can't.wait. to spend it with my boys. Linking up with Jen.

Savoring it...

We packed Jr., as Stephen as started affectionally calling him despite my protests that it just might stick and I really prefer Stephen Gabriel, in the car last week for a spontaneous trip to visit my family in the town where I grew up, the place that I'm convinced is the best place in the world during summertime. Sadly it was a little cold but that didn't stop us from reveling in the green grass and fresh air and crystal clear lake views. We also were able to go out alone a couple times while my mom watched the baby, always briefly of course but I'm convinced that a little time with just the two of us is important before I go back to work.

It didn't really make sense to make the trip since we'll be going back next week for my brother's wedding, but little Stephen is more than used to long car trips by now (move to Minnesota at 2 weeks, wedding in Detroit at 3 weeks, and now two more trips to northern Michigan at 8 and 9 weeks) and he doesn't seem to mind (as long as we have his tunes). 

I'm really trying to ignore the fact that each day that passes brings me closer to the inevitable day in August that I go back to work (officially, since I've already been back for quite a few days of orientation and training) and instead savor each day that I get to spend with the little guy. It's hard though, because each moment seems so fleeting and every day he grows and changes...I just hate the thought of missing any of it.

One of the things that makes me feel the saddest is thinking of him waking up at night without me there. As an ER physician, I'll be doing lots and lots of late evening and night shifts (next month is a lighter month and 16 of my shifts are late evenings or nights). Last night when he woke up at 3 a.m. I snuggled him close, his head fitting perfectly in the crook of my neck, and tried not to think about the nights at 3 a.m. when I won't be home.

And he 'turned' two months this week! We go for his check up today and I'm waiting anxiously to here how much he's grown...he's definitely come a long, long way from the fragile 6 pound, 3 ouncer that we brought home (I'm pretty sure that he's jumped at least three curves on the growth chart). He's so interactive lately, looks right into our eyes and smiles, and I'm loving every bit of it.

I promised myself that I would never do posts on "mom" style (it just sounds so old) but the truth is, lots of things do change...one of which is gravitating toward more practical shoes that aren't too 'mom-ish' ha. These have been quintessential to my summer uniform.

And the top I'm wearing in this post is from J. Crew Factory, another great postpartum one. It's currently on clearance here.

That makes seven, so I'm linking up with Jen.

Life lately...

I'm not sure how all you mommas find time to blog regularly (Grace, you are my hero) but I have all sorts of admiration for you. I've had so many post ideas bouncing through my head lately but every time I sit down and try to blog, baby Stephen wakes up or needs to eat or I get an email from my residency program with some really important thing that I need to address right now.

Here's some insta shots of life lately (for those of you who already follow, sorry that most of these are repeats).

1. The little guy's favorite way to be held, and favorite way to curl up on his arm (I'm convinced he looked just like this in-utero, only head down).

2. He changes every single day...he's starting to fill out his newborn clothes and can even wear some 3 month outfits, which makes me kind of nostalgic already (ha).

2 week glamour shot:

Can't resist this face...

One month birthday shot:

3. I cannot get over how incredibly wonderful Stephen (Sr.) has been. There's something indescribable about seeing the man that you love become a dad, and I feel like I love him in a deeper way now than ever before. I've also been surprised by the way that he's fulfilled the stay-at-home dad role while I've been at orientation. My always-super-macho man now gets excited about cooking dinner, folding laundry, and burping the baby. And I love it.

4. A few shots of the move. We did it, two-week-old in tow. We still have a lot of unpacked boxes but at this point we've found most of the essentials. We love, love our new house which is only two blocks away from the hospital.

5. I also somehow made it to Stephen's brother's wedding, which was a 9 hour drive away (actually 12 hours on the way back when baby Stephen decided to rebel against the car seat) and happened to be the weekend before I started orientation (call me crazy and you're probably right). I had decided to stay home for the sake of both me and baby (bringing a baby around that many people made me all kinds of anxious) but at the last minute changed my mind. I felt like it was important for me to go and support Stephen (I've been thinking a lot about the importance of being there for my husband despite our new baby and residency), and I have no regrets despite the craziness. I even wore a bridesmaid dress, safety pinned on since I had decided to order three sizes bigger than normal just to be safe.

6. Another benefit to the wedding - Stephen Gabriel met great-grandma for the first time. Isn't she precious? They were beyond thrilled to meet each other.

7. In case you've missed it, I've had some lovely ladies guest post while I've been away from blogging:
- Britt from the Fisk Files posted here on personal style
- Heidi from Notes from Heidi posted here on choosing a doctor
- Anne from In Residence posted here on style post-baby
- Theresa from The Brez Blog posted here on getting back into running postpartum
- Sarah from D-Isis posted here on having a baby during residency

Stay tuned for guest posts from Kallah, Mary, and Regina.

Linking my seven up with Jen.

On the best tights and yoga pants ever, smoothies, shoes, and a giveaway

Ending the week with 5 favs (linking up with Hallie) lumped in with Friday Quick Takes (linking up with Jen...is that cheating?)

Five favorites this week:

1. Preggers tights: If there's one thing that I could change about this pregnancy, it would be to start wearing Preggers compression tights earlier. I purchased a pair of grey ones early on in my pregnancy which I wore constantly with dresses but never under my scrubs or dress pants, despite how comfortable and durable they are. I'm kind of in disbelief that I spent so many weeks on my feet at 6-7 months pregnant on my surgery rotation and didn't wear any compression stockings (contrary to my mom's warnings about my genetic predisposition to varicose veins). Well, it came back to bite me because the last month or two, I've had awful, crampy leg pain along with a couple faint-but-still-there veins showing up on my calves. Needless to say, I've been wearing the Preggers every.day. and was thrilled when they wanted to collaborate and sent me another pair of my beloved grey tights (I love, love all the fun colors they have but grey is just so practical and arguably more fun than black) along with a pair of their amazing pantyhose. I have to honestly say that I like the Preggers compression tights 10x more than my prescription maternity hose which have a saggy, uncomfortable top, versus the supportive but uber comfortable Preggers waistband. They are offering a $50 (!) gift card to a reader and you can enter at the end of the post.

A bunch of maternity outfits with my Preggers tights

2. I have to give this Isabella Oliver dress a shout-out because it has been my go-to dress for graduation (see #7), Easter, maternity pictures, work, church, etc. It was worth every penny because of how much I've worn it and the fact that I still feel good in it even this pregnant. Bonus that it's really, really comfortable (it's made of this stretchy but forgiving jersey fabric) and the blue/green color is just beautiful.

3. I've been obsessed with smoothies lately. I like this Strawberry Oatmeal one for something a little more substantial as well as this Strawberry Orange Oatmeal one (kind of like a healthy orange dream smoothie), but my go-to lately has been this smoothie that I modified from an old concoction that I pinned from Grace. I add a banana (half a banana is fine too), a cup of frozen berries (I love the antioxidant blend of cherries, pomegranate, raspberries, wild blueberries, and strawberries that I picked up on sale at Target), a cup of vanilla soy milk, a large dollop of plain greek yogurt (I like Fave or Chobani), a generous spoonful of honey, and a big handful of fresh spinach. The spinach may seem a little weird, but I can't really taste it and it's a great way to get in a little extra veggies (Stephen hasn't braved the spinach yet but I'm determined to get him to try it this weekend).

4. Yoga pants: I've been living in them ever since I finished my last med school rotation. I didn't find maternity yogas to be necessary (my pre-pregnancy ones work just fine, tucked under my now large-and-in-charge bump). My absolute favorite pair of comfy pants are the J. Crew dream cotton pants (on the right of the picture below)- I've had my black pair for a couple years and wore them over and over again throughout this pregnancy. They are starting to get a little threadbare, so I picked up a pair of navy ones during the J. Crew 30% off sale (still going on). They fit just loose enough through the legs and butt to be flattering. I also picked up a pair of J. Crew yoga pants (on the left of the picture below)- I'll be honest that although they're so very soft and comfy, I don't think they're the most flattering pair of pants on me right now (really though, what pants do feel flattering at 38 weeks pregnant?) but I kept them because the fabric is a-mazing and I think they'll be perfect for after baby.

5. Old Navy has been killing it in the shoe department lately. First up, these heeled clogs that look so similar to Swedish Hasbeens (I ordered the tan pair):

 Old Navy ($32.94 + 25% off)

Swedish Hasbeens ($218.95)

And next, these wedges (I'm 100% a wedge-over-heel girl) that are a dead-ringer for the J. Crew Lillian wedges:

Old Navy ($29.94 + 25% off)

J. Crew ($129.99 on sale)

Annnndd adding two quick takes at the end/linking up with Jen:

6. For those of you who have been following along with my mundane pregnancy details (and don't mind reading about cervical exams), we had our 38 week check-up yesterday. My doctor was shocked that the baby's head had 'dropped' (not a medical term ha) dramatically and apparently his head is now engaged in my pelvis (yay!). My cervix is thinning but not dilated yet. I was up for a few hours last night with nausea and cramping, so I'm not sure if that means anything or not...honestly though if he could wait until Friday that would be great (I'm scheduled for a spa pedicure on Thursday with the gift certificate Stephen gave me...I know, I sound so selfish, sigh).

7. I made the bittersweet decision this week to not go to our medical school graduation ceremony on May 10 based on the fact that I will either be almost 40 weeks pregnant with a good chance of delivering on the way down or back (it's a 7 hour drive each way) or my water breaking as I walk across the podium to get my diploma OR we will have a brand new babe. We did have our rural medicine program graduation last week (there are 10 of us in the track) which was lovely:

And make sure to enter the Preggers giveaway if you are expecting/soon to be expecting/etc. etc.:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Quick Takes: Maternity pics + updates

1. So I was originally planning on sharing seven of our maternity pictures and then linking up with Jen, but I couldn't pick just seven...

{all pictures by Jillian J Photography}

Outfit details: Wrap Dress//Fuchsia Top//Jeans//Navy Top

I'm so happy that we have these pictures to remember such a special time in our lives.

2. We had a surprise ultrasound yesterday after I went in for my appointment to check the baby's weight and amniotic fluid index along with cervical length and placental position. We hadn't seen the little guy since 22 weeks, so it was pretty darn exciting. Stephen was super nervous because we watched What to Expect When You're Expecting on our mini-babymoon and one of the babies came out a girl when they thought it was a boy (Stephen was already worried about this). The first thing they saw when the put the probe on my belly was the baby's boy parts (picture was way too graphic or I would post ha) and the beaming look on Stephen's face was priceless.

His profile

Face shadows + chubby cheeks

3. So aside from the fact that we know the baby is still a boy, we also know that he is head down (I was 99.9% sure of this already), he is on the smallish side (currently 5 lbs 2 oz and 39th percentile), and his feet and hands were just where I thought they were based on all the crazy movement I've been feeling. His rather large foot was wedged right up against my uterus, which explains a lot ;) We also don't have the official report back, but I'm pretty sure that the placenta previa they saw earlier in my pregnancy is completely resolved and that my cervix is not doing anything (I couldn't see the screen when they checked but Stephen claims it looked like a little slit and then proceeded to demonstrated this by tightly closing and rolling in his lips). It's is a little shocking to me based on the amount of cramping I've had over the last two weeks, but a good thing I guess since I'm not full-term yet.

4. I told my doctor that if the babe comes late I'm going to freak out because of all the cramping I've had...and she told me that she'd be shocked if he's late, which makes me feel better but not completely. I'm 35 weeks but starting to feel ready to be done...I got some prescription compression stockings this week (sexy) which has helped my leg cramps (the only really unbearable pregnancy symptom I've had) as has walking...although I still really miss the elliptical. My weight gain is at 23 pounds and I'm crossing my fingers that I stick to 25 pounds total...but I realize that it might not be realistic (and obviously there are more important things to worry about than my vanity).

5. I realized that I hadn't done any pregnancy reading yet, so I picked up Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (a little weird so far, but also has some great tips on having a natural labor) along with Happiest Baby on the Block. I've heard good things about The Baby Whisperer and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, but being honest with myself I'll be lucky if I get through the first two books (and I'm planning on using my mom, who breastfed 8 kids, as my breastfeeding resource).

6. If you are a fellow preggo (and I'm guessing if you've made it this far into this post that you are) you can enter a giveaway for $25 to Pink Blush Maternity here. They have a ton of cute and reasonable things (I really, really want this maxi dress).

7. Lastly, I just loved Grace's link up of wedding first dance songs. It did a preggo soul good to reminisce about our wedding day and rewatch our wedding video (happy tears are therapeutic).

Have a lovely weekend.