Friday, October 10, 2014

Pants: J. Crew
Boots: Frye

Some truths about this outfit...

...I wore it last weekend, since the majority of my time now is spent in scrubs (I sense a blog/ebay sale coming soon - I just can't justify all the nice clothes still in boxes since we moved)

...The pants are these ones - yes, they're maternity pants. Not the over-belly third trimester kind but the end-of-first beginning-of-second trimester side panel kind. I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight but have a residual tummy pooch that will probably require a lot more crunches/less carbs and these pants are the epitomy of comfy. Unfortunately they're also saggy, and a mid-rise would be much more flattering since these are designed to sit below the bump. I requested a pair of black skinny pants in my next Stitch Fix so we shall see.

...The babe spit up on the pants...and I just wiped it off and still wore them. Gross, I know, but part of reality with a four month old. Another reason to have a blog sale, since I own a ridiculous number of dry-clean-only J. Crew tops that I will probably never dare to wear again.

...These boots are by far the most expensive wardrobe purchase I've ever made. They were almost 40% off on Amazon when I bought them last year, but still sooo expensive and I have a twinge of guilt every time that I wear them. But they're perfect.

...I'm still wearing my hair in a top knot despite the hairstylist's advice at my last appointment to not wear my hair up so much to try to stilt my dreaded postpartum hair loss...and also despite Stephen informing me after two years of marriage and two more years of dating (a.k.a. 4 years of top knot-wearing) that he prefers my hair down.

...My style has done almost a 180 since having the babe...I'm all about long, drapey tops with fun patterns and stretchy, skinny pants...and no dry-clean only (I'm embarrassed to say that I never evah checked the care tags before now). 

...Do these qualify to link up with Jen? I think so. Also linking up with the Pleated Poppy and Tara.

The blog is not dead...

Wednesday, October 8, 2014's just called intern year. It's hard to explain the implications of those two words to those not in the medical profession. Intern year a.k.a. the first year of residency is at times draining, exhausting, of the hardest things I've ever done (I won't say the hardest since that's reserved for childbirth and the time I spent working in Haiti after the earthquake).  Other times, it's glorious and affirming... like last week when my patient's wife hugged me with tears in her eyes and told me how grateful she was, or today when I got all 6 of my intubations. More often though, it's the former. There are days that I come home and feel like I have nothing left, I'm drained to the last ounce.

Part of the reason why intern year is so tough is because you work incredibly hard to get into medical school...and then even harder to make it through medical school...and then when it seems like there should be some sort of reward, you're an intern. A lowly first year resident...feeling like you know nothing most of the time...  at the bottom of the totem pole among all of the residents and physicians. You have the worst schedule, and the most to learn. You still don't feel deserving when people call you "doctor."

The toughest days for me are when I'm away all day or all night and come home on one of the 'drained-to-the-last-ounce' days. I spend so many hours feeling like I'm missing a piece of myself at home..and then when I get home, I feel like I have so little left to give him. But I'm trying, and I know that his daddy is giving him what I can't (although it's hard to accept this sometimes). I also know that he loves me unconditionally...that he'll smile and giggle when I come home and wrap his little arms around my neck no matter how tired I am or how long I've been gone. And I take comfort in that.