Showing posts with label Stephen Gabriel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stephen Gabriel. Show all posts

Stephen Gabriel's Birth Story (part one)

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I love reading birth stories....loved them before I was pregnant, or even thinking about being pregnant. After being present in a lot of deliveries during both my medical mission work and medical school (and delivering 12 babies myself) I didn't have a lot of expectations for my own little guy's birth story. Each labor and delivery that I saw was so unique...and to be honest I didn't want to think too much about my own labor as sort of a coping mechanism, which is just fine because little Stephen's birth story was a lot different than what I expected...


It started on Tuesday, May 20. I was four days overdue and dilated to a whopping 0 cm at my 40 week appointment, and I was frustrated (just read this post if you don't believe me). We had originally planned to move 8 hours and two states away, where I would be starting my residency, on June 4 but it became clear that it wasn't going to happen. I was a wreck...the tears were flowing daily (poor Stephen Sr.) and I told Stephen that I couldn't take it much longer with moving and residency oreintation looming over my head: I moved my 41 week appointment up to the following day (Wednesday) and planned on asking for an induction that Friday.

Stephen was off work that week and so we went to noon mass. Afterwards, Stephen asked if I wanted to go to Applebees for lunch, and I remember sitting down in the booth and the tears started to flow again. I told Stephen that I felt guilty about being so selfish and wanting the baby to come on my own timing, and that I felt like I had ruined our last days together just the two of us. I remember that Stephen said something comforting and I felt more at peace with everything after we left.

That night Stephen had a work party at the Italian restaurant in town. My mom (who delivered 8 children au natural) warned me against the heavy pasta and garlic bread "just in case" I were to go into labor, but I hadn't had any more cramping than what I had been having over the past few weeks (mild period-like cramping that never lasted more than 10 minutes and usually only happened once or twice a day) so I figured I was safe. We finished around 9 p.m. with no hint of any increased cramping and since I had been begging Stephen to go for a walk all day, we drove to one of my favorite spots near the lake. I had a cramp or two on the car ride there, but again no different from what I had been having so I didn't think anything of it.

We parked near the beach and when I stepped out of the car, I felt a weird leaking sensation. Stephen and I laughed it off as "probably just urine" (oh the joys of pregnancy) and walked over to the beach. I realized when we got there that we were at the exact spot where Stephen had proposed...I remember looking out at the surreal view of the ice still floating on the lake and feeling like there was something special about that night...almost a foreshadowing of what was to come.

Stephen and I started our walk then, and I felt a cramp that was just a tad stronger than normal...enough to mention it to Stephen (I hadn't been telling him when I would feel them because they always seemed to stop after 10 minutes and I didn't want to get his hopes up). Then I felt a sensation of more leaking. Stephen and I were both still a bit skeptical (after all, I was 5 days late and the baby was never coming), and I wanted to keep walking so we did (fools). Pretty soon, I had another cramp, about 7 minutes later according to Stephen. That was when I felt the sensation of more leaking and looked down at my yoga pants to realize they were soaked. Stephen and I looked at each other in disbelief: this was finally it (yaaay!)

After realizing that my water really had broken (or if you want the more technical term, my membranes had finally ruptured), we decided that we really better turn around. We had at least a 25 minute jaunt back to the car, which was not the best with my now sopping wet pants (sorry) but I was too excited to care. Stephen kept timing the contractions, which were coming anywhere from every 5 minutes to every 12 minutes, so I knew that I had a ways to go. My doctor recommends that her patients go to the hospital after their water breaks because of the risk of infection if labor continues past the 24 hour mark, so I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't be able to labor at home. I was in no rush, however, to get to the hospital. When we got home, I realized that the amniotic fluid was a pinkish color and noticed, for the first time, a little bloody show in the toilet. I called for Stephen to bring me my doppler so I could check the baby's heartbeat (in case of cord prolapse) like a good almost-doctor and when I determined that it was strong and a normal rate, I decided to get into the shower (I also kept feeling/seeing him move, so I wasn't worried). I stood in the hot water for a good 45 minutes and then we called my mom, who I had asked to be my pseudo-doula, and the labor and delivery unit. I told my mom to not rush to the hospital since it could be a very long night, and that we would call her after we were checked in and the doctor had checked my cervix. I took my time adding a few things to my hospital bag, grabbing pillows, picking up things around the house (I told Stephen I was going to clean the bathroom before we left...he looked at me like I was a crazy person and that did it himself without saying anything), and then we headed to the hospital.



By the time that we arrived to the hospital, about two hours after my water had broken, I was having contractions about every 4-7 minutes. They were still fairly mild for the most part though, like a moderate period cramp, except for one when we pulled up to the hospital...I remember looking at Stephen saying "Ouuuch" (we both kind of laughed so obviously it really wasn't that bad yet). On the way into the hospital, Stephen and I tried to guess what my cervix would be when they checked it (Stephen said 4 cm, but I said 2 cm since I knew that realistically I had probably started at 0 cm based on my most recent prenatal visit).

They brought us straight to a room when we got to labor and delivery (probably a combo of them not messing around with a post-termer and them knowing from my rotations that I was a [new] doctor). When the nurse was checking me in, she asked me about pain meds and I told her that I really didn't want an epidural although I wasn't 100% opposed to it, and that I was open to getting Staydol if I felt I absolutely needed it (ha - I was so naive). Although no one seemed to doubt that my membranes had ruptured, they still needed to confirm it and so they called my doctor who agreed to come in to do the speculum exam herself (I was so happy because I knew both of the male residents covering OB and them doing the sterile spec would have been all kinds of awkward). In the meantime, the nurse told me not to eat or drink anything, but I was dying of thirst and proceeded to down a bottle of water as soon as she left the room to Stephen's disapproval (doctors and nurses really make the best patients). They had strapped me to a fetal monitor as soon as I arrived to my room and I kept watching it anxiously to see if it was reactive, not because I was worried about Stephen Jr. (I was convinced by all his moving and grooving that he was just fine) but because I really, really wanted to get up and walk - contractions lying in bed are torture. Finally they let me get up, and Stephen and I walked the halls leisurely back and forth, stopping every few minutes for contractions (which still felt like moderate period cramps and totally manageable).

My doctor arrived just before 2 a.m. and verified that yes, my membranes had indeed ruptured aaaand the bad news? I was only dilated to "a fingertip." Yikes. She told me that the good news was that I was 100% effaced, but that it would still probably be a long night/day. She knew that I wanted to try for a natural birth and told the nurse that I could eat, drink, and walk around monitor-free (thank God). After she left, Stephen decided it would be a good time for a snooze and approximately 30 seconds later was sound asleep in the hard-as-rocks recliner next to my bed (he really can sleep anywhere). Up until that point, I had told my mom to wait to come to the unit since I didn't know how far dilated I was....of course 5 seconds after Stephen was out like a light, I proceeded to have a painful contraction and so I texted her "Hurry!! These hurt." She was there in about 10 minutes (I didn't wake Stephen up, mostly just so I could bug him about it later...just kidding). After my mom arrived, I spent the next two hours walking the halls and sitting in the jacuzzi tub. The contractions were getting more painful and pretty consistently every 3-4 minutes. The jacuzzi tub was amazing at first; the sound of the jets and feeling of the water rushing over me really helped me to deal with the pain. I would close my eyes when the contractions would come and in between would chat with my mom, who kept assuring me of how well I was doing. The contractions started to feel like severe period cramps and when they begin to lengthen, my mom told me to start saying the Memorare, one of my favorite prayers...which really, really helped initially.

After a while in the tub, I had an excruciatingly painful contraction that sent me flying out of the tub. I could feel it through my whole body, a tearing type of pain that seemed like it lasted forever, and after the peak of it I started to violently throw up (I'm still convinced it was from the pain, since the four times that I vomited  during labor were all at the end of the worst contractions). My mom ran to wake Stephen up (I had started to get disgruntled right before the painful contraction that he was still sleeping). He helped me out of the tub and I remember wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my head in his shoulder for the next couple of contractions....they were really starting to hurt.

My doctor came back around 6:30 a.m. to recheck my cervix and when she came into the room, I was sitting on the birthing ball with my head buried in the bed. I remember thinking that I had no idea how I was going to get back into bed for her to check me and the nurse to put me on the monitor to recheck the baby; laying in bed during natural labor is the absolute worst. They also started an IV then and started to give me fluids because of the vomiting. When my doctor checked me, she told me that I was three cm...and I felt defeated. All that hard work and pain for a measly 3 cm? Maybe I was more of a wuss than I thought (my doctor informed me later that my cervix was so thin that some residents would have checked me and thought I was complete even though I was only 3 cm). Since my doctor had to leave the hospital and go to the clinic, she told me that the on-call doctor for family medicine would be watching me. I knew the on-call doc, she was older and more experienced than my doctor but I begged my doctor to come back soon (I saw the same family doctor through the whole pregnancy and so there was a comfort and security that came with that). And that's when the real craziness began...

to be continued...






We're doing fine...

Friday, August 8, 2014

1. In case anyone has been wondering, we're doing just fine. I survived my first week as a real (resident) doctor, so did the boys, and so did my patients. The Stephens have had some serious bonding time in my absence:


And Stephen Jr. has apparently learned to watch baseball with his dad, ha.

2. In all seriousness though, it's been hard. There have been tears on more occasion than one, and I miss him desperately. Fortunately ER shifts are so incredibly busy and it's so powerfully overwhelming to all of the sudden carry the responsibility of a physician (even a baby one) that I haven't had much time to think about it. But when I leave to go pump breastmilk for him or I'm nearing the end of my shift and faced with staying late or I see a baby on my pediatric shifts, I miss him...really miss him.

3. But then I get to come home to this, and lots of baby snuggles, and the world is ok again.


4. I'm finally finished with his birth story (I think? No matter how much I tweak it, it doesn't feel like I'm doing justice to the momentous story of a new human coming into the world) and I'll hopefully be (over) sharing it on the blog...so if you're a fan of birth stories in all their glory (not ashamed to share the details) check back in the next week or so.


5. My brother got married two weeks ago and I fully intended to recap it on the blog...but one half-written draft post later, it's prob not gonna happen. I did share some pics over on the 'gram, and I can't help but share what Stephen Gabriel wore (full disclosure that this outfit that I was ridiculously excited about lasted all of 15 minutes and the rest of the night he was in the backup sleeper I packed). Anyways, at least we got some good pictures.


What Stephen and I wore (and what Stephen Gabriel really wore):


6. On another note, I tried Stitch Fix (that's my referral link...if you sign up, I get a small credit toward my next Stitch Fix if I decide to do it again, and you get your own referral link that you can pass on) for the first time.  If you've never heard of it, it basically involves filling out a style profile after you sign up and then paying a $20 styling fee to have 5 items shipped to you. I wasn't crazy about the fee, but it goes toward anything you end up keeping. I bit the bullet and signed up after talking to my cousin, who had a baby two months before me and said that it really helped her to find a few things that work for her during this crazy postpartum/breastfeeding time. Here's a sneak peak of the loveliness that was in my 'fix' and I'll share some reviews soon...


7. Last but not least, Freshly Picked so graciously sent the sweetest pair of baby moccasins for Stephen Gabriel aaaand they're giving away a pair of your choice to one lucky reader. You can find the review/givaway here


My shift tonight will round out close to 80 hrs in the emergency department this week, but this is my weekend off (we get one off per month) and I can't.wait. to spend it with my boys. Linking up with Jen.

Freshly Picked {giveaway}

Monday, August 4, 2014





Stephen and I recently became obsessed with watching Shark Tank, and last month we saw an episode about these moccasins. We were intrigued, since little Stephen will not keep anything on his feet and I was getting tired of the (maybe real, probably imagined) disapproving glances of his naked feet every time we took him anywhere. We are also facing a very real Minnesota winter, so bare feet won't be an option much longer.

We absolutely love these moccasins...they are just so sweet, made of real leather, aaaand stay on baby feet (even Stephen Gabriel's kicking-like-crazy baby feet). I ordered the size 2 for our little man which are a bit big now but happily will last him through many chilly months to come. And I'm thrilled with the opportunity to collaborate with Freshly Picked and offer a pair of moccasins to a lucky reader. Scroll to the bottom of the post to enter...











a Rafflecopter giveaway

On childbirth...and Stephen Gabriel

Saturday, May 31, 2014

1. It's been 9 days since the arrival of our precious little bundle. It's amazing how much love I feel for this little being. I still look at him sometimes and am in awe he's ours.

2. I'm looking forward to sharing Stephen Gabriel's birth story, but I need a little time to let the craziness of it all wear off. I have to admit that giving birth was nothing like I thought. Ina May's book was wonderful and all, but I felt sort of betrayed in a way...it was all just so much more painful than I thought it would be. I had so many (good) reasons that I didn't want an epidural, but after doing it without my perspective has maybe changed a little. But I better not share too much so that I can leave you in suspense for his birth story...

3. My hemoglobin had a nice drop from 12.5 when I arrived to the hospital around midnight to 8.5 after I delivered our little man. I shudder to think what it was the following day since physiologically it would have continued to drop, but I didn't stick around long enough to find out. Stephen was disenchanted with sleeping in a recliner and I was disenchanted with sleeping in a hospital bed along with all of the middle-of-the-night vitals checks. I full-on passed out the afternoon after I delivered (waking up via some ammonia salts to about 6 people surrounding me in the bathroom...childbirth certainly does a number on modesty ha) so the nurses were not too keen on me leaving, but my doctors agreed to let me leave a day early. I think this was pretty much only because I'm a doctor (albeit a super fresh one) but I happily took it.

4. Our little man weighed only 6 lbs 11 oz when he was born....so much for my concerns about birthing a 9 lb baby due to my post-term status. I actually didn't believe that he was that little and asked the nurse to weigh him again, but 6 lbs 11 oz it was. He was absolutely swimming in the 0-3 month sleepers I brought to the hospital (lesson learned, should've brought at least one newborn outfit) and required preemie diapers for his first few days of life. I never felt like I got super enormous at the end of pregnancy and I knew that Stephen Jr. had always measured a tad on the small side, but I really thought he would be pushing 8 lbs at 40 wks 5 days. He actually just barely met the criteria for small for gestational age, which made me super concerned (I wondered if being so sick with asthma/the flu in January played a role) but the pediatrician wasn't worried at all (and Stephen's brother was only 6 lbs 13 oz at term so maybe it's his genetics). The little man weighed only 6 lbs 3 oz at his first check up but then proceeded to put on a whopping 13 oz over the next week for a one week weigh-in at 7 lbs. Grow baby grow!

5. I'm feeling sort of overwhelmed about moving with a two week old. Fortunately my mom and a couple of my sisters are coming with us to help for the first week. The little man will be only 3 weeks old when I have to leave him for orientation, but I'm taking things one day at a time and happy that I'll be on maternity leave in July.

6. We are having Stephen Gabriel baptized tonight. We had the choice of either baptizing him this weekend or waiting until the end of July, when we come back here for my brother's wedding. Stephen and I did some reading about the sacrament (and also talked to our wonderful Catholic pediatrician) and our conclusion was that the sooner the better to give our little guy the graces of the sacrament.

7. And lastly, some picture updates from my instagram.

First time in the rock n' play - holding on for dear life (favorite picture ever).


So peaceful. He always has his hands up by his face when he's sleeping, just like he did inside of me. Also, the Aden and Anais blankets are hands down the.best.

We're still trying to decide if he'll have red hair like his daddy - but so far it's looking good.

So happy to see his face filling out!

First time using the Ergo swaddle carrier (it only took us 30 minutes and two videos to get the carrier on, and it's clearly only on half right) and baby's first hike (we went to the same place we walked when my water broke - details later). 

Linking up with Jen.

Stay tuned for some guest posts in the coming weeks from some amazing mom blogger friends.

He's here!

Saturday, May 24, 2014









Sharing seven moments from our little guy's first days of life and linking up with Jen. Despite being five days late, the little guy weighed in at only 6 lbs, 11 oz so I guess he had a reason to wait a few days to make his appearance (and thank you so much for all of your encouraging words after my post on Sunday). Although he's teeny (and of course I only had 3 month outfits packed in our hospital bag - oops) he is a strong and healthy...I keep thinking "though he be but little, he is fierce". We are so enthralled by this life that God entrusted to us!