Final days...

I just realized that this is probably the last post that I will ever write about a day in medical school, since next week is my last week ever as a med student. This month is an elective for me, and I ended up on neurology and cardiology thanks to waiting until the last minute to pick something (let's face it, at this point in my medical school career and pregnancy, I'm pretty much just ready to be done so did I care? Not really). I actually did put a little thought into it, since both cardio and neuro should help me as an ER resident, but my super prego self just kind of wanted an easy rotation (not cardio or neuro, but oh well).

My first two weeks on neurology were actually pretty great. I didn't get done early most days (an end-of-fourth-year med student's main goal) but I did learn a lot of useful information, saw some interesting cases, and enjoyed working with the quirky-fun neurologists. Then I started cardiology yesterday, which did not go so well. I was in the cath lab, which is pretty interesting when it involves MI treatment, stent placements, etc. but most definitely not when it comes to ablations (I didn't even know until yesterday that a cardiac electrophysiology fellowship existed and let me tell you, it is not for me). The first case was 6 hours long - and that 6 hours mostly involved watching multiple computer screens while looking for an electrical focus that was causing thousands of PVCs in a patient. I should also mention that I was wearing close to 20 pounds of lead protective gear due to the radiation used during the ablation. I really wasn't too keen on being in the room at all, but I was assured by the physician that it was "no big deal" and by the nurses that "all our babies have turned out ok so far" (that kind of reassurance makes me a little nervous). Anyways, 20 pounds of lead + 20+ pounds of baby/prego weight = a lot of discomfort. Of course I also forgot to wear my support hose yesterday (worse.decision.ever). The first 6 hour case made me think about what it would feel like to watch paint dry. Furthermore, when the cardiologist finally thought he fixed the guy (and I was breathing a hundred sighs of relief) he started having PVCs again. Funny part was that the cardiologist was going on about how the "world-renowned facility" that the guy had gone to before for an ablation failed (also happens to be the institution where I'm going for residency, but I didn't tell him that) but he was personally able to fix the guy due to his "100% success rate" (cardiologists are very modest people) right when the PVCs started up again. At that point I decided that the baby and I had enough (the baby hated the lead by the way - he was kicking up against that silly lead apron like there was no tomorrow) and headed down for lunch and a short siesta in our student lounge. I texted Stephen about how miserable I was (misery loves company) and his advice was to leave, but the overachiever in me just couldn't do it....well, until 5 p.m. rolled around.

As you can see from the above picture, baby is growing like wildfire. Lately I've had my normal scrub pants rolled way down below my belly and haven't even attempted my normal scrub top (the size large that I am wearing apparently has arms cut for a linebacker but is definitely more bump-friendly). The last few days I've been a little 'snappy' as Stephen puts it and I've been getting annoyed by all the peeps staring at my bump. I texted Stephen the scrub-bump picture right after I had texted him that "I can't believe all these people staring at my stomach, haven't they seen a pregnant belly before? And it's not even that big!" Stephen never replied to that, since I realized the irony in my words when I took another look at the picture. The nurses I'm working with keep saying how they can't believe I'm 36 weeks, blah blah, I don't look pregnant from behind [what does that mean anyways] etc.; I don't really believe it but I appreciate their attempts at making me feel better about my large self.

So there you have it, my last post about a day in medical school...a little bittersweet maybe, but mostly just sweet.

WIWS + some updates

Top: Gap maternity/Pants: J.C. Penney maternity/Scarf: Etsy

This Sunday's outfit was a mostly uninspired one consisting of my favorite maternity top (which is starting to pill already from wearing it so much) and my favorite maternity pants (my dear mom purchased me a second pair for when the first one is in the wash). 

We went to mass yesterday evening which meant that for some reason I went half of today thinking that tomorrow was Sunday and than was pretty disappointed when I realized the weekend is over already and I'm back to the hospital tomorrow. Clerkships are starting to drag a bit, which I guess is to be expected when graduation is only about two months away. 

Stephen and I went to Target today to finish up our registry (any suggestions for mostly clueless first-time parents?) and left with our first little outfit purchase. We both loved the tiny anchor and adorable bow tie, and originally intended on putting it on our registry but there was only one 3 month size left and so we ended up just purchasing it. We purchased a couple things for the nursery also, a sweet little print for the wall and a nursery organizer for diapers and little clothes. And his pretty gray crib is on it's way to our house now, a gift from my mom. I feel like we are making small dents in getting ready for his arrival and it's so exciting (and kind of surreal).

And what a difference a month makes! I thought I was getting big on the picture on the left (6 months) which I now think is pretty funny compared to 7 months (on the right) and I probably will be laughing again a month from now.

Random pregnancy round-up:

Highlights: feeling (and seeing!) him move oh so much/random pregnancy stories from strangers/starting to get the nursery ready

Cravings: fruit (esp. strawberries and blackberries)/Sprite/anything sweet (not looking forward to my glucose tolerance test tomorrow)

Exercise: 20-30 minutes on the elliptical most days and a prenatal Pilates video a couple times a week (I've found if I don't exercise my back and hips hurt and I have way less energy)

Weight gain: I've been afraid to check since last week, when it was a total of 16ish pounds (*hoping* to keep the total weight gain to around 25)

Symptoms: oh the usual but overall not too terrible - tired and achy, the occasional tear fest (poor Stephen), weird dreams, and some trouble sleeping

When we logged into our Target baby registry, I saw that we only have 82 days until our due date which is crazy/scary/exciting. Can't wait to meet our little guy.

Linking up here.

On Valentine's Day

Outfit on left (Date night): top//cardigan//jeans//booties
Outfit on right (V-day): same jeans and top/hearts cardigan (old, J. Crew Factory)/boots Frye

I love Valentine's Day. Since I found my person I love it more, but I loved it even in high school when my friends and I would send each other 'secret admirer' carnations and in college when we would have single ladies parties and watch romantic comedies and after college when I spent it with the wrong person. I'm lucky that Stephen is one of those romantic guys (not that he would ever admit it) and gives the most thoughtful gifts, writes cards sweeter than anything I could come with, and always gets me flowers (this year it was a huge, beautiful bouquet of pink tiger lilies. 

This Valentine's Day felt a little different for us. Marriage is wonderful and all of that, but I think we've learned more about the meaning of sacrificial love for each other these last months while Stephen works at a job that has sucked the life out of him, I deal with the changes of pregnancy, and we both face huge life decisions along with their accompanying uncertainties. The funny thing is, it made this Valentine's Day that much sweeter. Going through difficulties together has purified and deepened our love for each other. We know each other better, appreciate each other more, and understand what marriage is so much differently than we did when we looked at each other bright-eyed and innocent at the altar. And since we are still kind of newlyweds, I think that Valentine's Day will only get better.

We celebrated with a nice dinner at a quiet hotel in town the night before Valentine's Day since Stephen had to work February 14. It was the best date that we've had in a long time; we talked and laughed and reminisced about some of our favorite memories together. We also planned for the baby; Stephen went to a Dad's class this week which he complained about before ("Why do I need to go to a class on how to change diapers?" me : "Have you ever changed a diaper?" Stephen: "   ") but he ended up leaving the class so excited (it was really cute) and with lots of tips on how to swaddle a baby, etc. It made things much more real for him I think, even though we both are still trying to wrap our heads around the face that in a couple months we will bring a little guy into the world.

(the bump looks much bigger in person, I promise)

Seven fun/interesting/thoughtful links that I enjoyed this week (joining Jen and the rest of them).

1. A fill-in-the-blank love letter courtesy of Hallie for your Valentine (better late than never)
2. A thoughtful article on real love ("I got engaged and immediately doubted my decision")
3. The perfect cardigan for just about anything (I'm wearing it in 'pink paradise' in the picture above)
4. Three ways to tie a scarf (I use a modified version of the first way all the time)
5. Finding the perfect white tee
6. Would love to try this 'Kiss Me' lip scrub
7. How this couple's baby son changed the world in his 10 days of life

5 Favorites

5 favorites this week (linking up with Hallie):

1. This hoodie: I wish I would never have bought a pair of running pants from Lululemon last summer, because before that I would never imagined spending so much on yoga/running clothes. Two shirts and one more pair of pants later, I'm hooked. Both of my shirts from there are baggy in just the right places to make a great maternity top (at least at this point of my pregnancy). This hoodie is sold out now online, which is a good thing because it's so wonderful that I want every color that they every made.

And this little guy is not so little anymore (comparatively that is). I went to a prenatal yoga class yesterday which was ridiculous ("cross your leg over your chest and grab on, now practice rocking your baby") and all kinds of relaxing all at the same time. Anyways, it was my first time and after telling the yoga instructor that I was almost 26 weeks, she asserted that "Well, you're not very big" to which I responded seriously?

2. These booties: I've been looking for a pair of camel booties for a while, and happened to see these on Kendi while I was wasting precious time on Pinterest. They looked way too expensive to be from Old Navy, so I was shocked when I clicked on them (here). $32 later (they were 25% off) I think I found the perfect pair of camel booties...side note that the leather is surprisingly not pleather-ish.

3. J. Crew baby: Did you even know there was such a thing?! And let's be honest, it's a little silly (cashmere jumpers for your newborn, anyone?) but these onesies are just adorable.

 

4. Mi bebe: He's now an official mover and groover, since I saw my stomach moving (!) last week. Despite loving everything OB I did not know that it was possible to see a little 24 week old moving inside of you, but I now know that it is. Stephen has yet to see it for himself since I've been trying to take a video for him but the little guy has yet to cooperate (he always stops moving, at least visibly, after I start recording). At my conference yesterday I kept getting distracted by my belly moving around.

5. These lip pencils: I've never been much of a lipstick wearer - until I got this one with a J. Crew credit (they sell a couple of colors at J. Crew). Don't get one yourself because then you'll be addicted too.

24 Weeks

Well I'm not exactly sure what happened over the last couple of weeks, but hello baby! I really can't believe that 6 months has passed. His arrival seems more real every day.

Just when I think I'm getting used to this pregnancy thing, some new symptom appears. It was lower back pain this weekend, which I think is more from sleeping funny (can't, can't get used to the side-sleeping thing) than from the belly (but who knows). I did start doing this pilates video which seems to be helping.

And a mostly underwhelming What I Wore Sunday outfit:

Tunic: Splendid via 6pm.com

Pants: J. Crew 

Boots: Hunter

23 weeks + what I wore Sunday

A few pregnancy updates: 23 weeks and he apparently is the size of a grapefruit or an eggplant and as long as a green onion. He moves around constantly, which I love (maybe I won't love it as much when he starts kicking me in the ribs). I've gained about 10-12 pounds and even though the baby was a small-ish 19th percentile on his 20 week scan, I'm positive he's had a growth spurt since then. I had a really easy second trimester until I ended up in the hospital with the flu at 19.5 weeks, and I feel like it's kind of been downhill from there. I still have sinus drainage and a sore throat (although whether the sore throat is from the sinus issues or the awful acid reflux I've been having is up in the air). I'm also overwhelmingly tired which I thought wasn't supposed to happen in the second trimester? But it started with the flu and hasn't gone away and now that I'm just a few weeks away from the third trimester, I guess I'm resigned to it just being part of the pregnancy.  Also sleeping has started to be difficult...I'm a diehard stomach sleeper which is not working out so well anymore. I'm contemplating getting one of those pregnancy pillows to keep me on my side...but enough complaining. 

We did have a little scare last week where I started having intermittent cramping. I gave it an hour and a half and then called my doctor, who sent me to the OB floor. They monitored the baby, who looked just fine, and monitored me for signs of labor progression. Fortunately the cramping stopped after about 3 hours...but I've kind of been ill-at-ease since then. Part of the problem is that I know too much (influenza A puts pregnant moms at a higher risk of pre-term labor). They did do another ultrasound at the hospital and got the most beautiful profile of our little babe:

In other news, I *think* I'm done with residency interviews (I still have one more scheduled but will probably cancel). I haven't written much about it partly because I was struggling internally with my decision and partly because I'm leery to put anything on the blog until my rank list is due at the end of next month (in the off chance that some program should stumble on my little corner of the internet). I definitely will share more about it when the time is right. I think that my decision (which is really just as much Stephen's decision - he's been so supportive) for my top four or five programs is pretty much made, which is exciting but frightening all at the same time. I also got my Step 2 boards score last week, which far exceeded any of my expectations and I'm just thanking God and St. Gianna because I know that I couldn't have done it on my own.

On to what I wore Sunday (linking up here). I probably changed my outfit three times yesterday, sigh. But neutrals are always a good decision, and tops that drape in the right places are a lifesaver while my body changes in ways I didn't know it could. This top was a deal of the week at veryjane.com, and even though it isn't maternity it's long enough to work right now. It does have dolman sleeves, which I didn't realize when I ordered it and have always thought look sort of like bat wings...but it was cheap enough and fits well enough that I'll accept the bat wings. Funny sidenote about mass yesterday that when I knelt I felt like I barely had enough room between the kneeler and the pew in front of me for my uterus (which apparently is almost the size of soccer ball). Even funnier since I know it's about to get much bigger....

 Infinity scarf: J. Crew (old)

Top: veryjane.com

Denim skirt: Noppies via Amazon (but I should have waited because I spotted a perfect maternity one on thredup.com)

Boots: Frye

What I wore Sunday + 22 weeks

22 weeks! There's no hiding it now; two people asked me about the baby this week which is exciting and a relief at the same time (no more wondering if people can tell or not). It's kind of interesting being pregnant as a fourth year med student. People seem to have varying thoughts, but I do feel like there's an attitude that pregnant physicians-in-training aren't quite equivalent to non-pregnant ones. Maybe it's just me (too much watching Grey's Anatomy aka the Christina/Meredith feud?) or maybe it's the fact that I am 50% more exhausted than normal at the hospital...

The most exciting moment of the weekend (and one of the most exciting of the pregnancy so far) was Stephen feeling the baby kick! It's so nice to be able to share it with him instead of only feeling him move myself. And the baby wriggling around along with my growing bump makes everything that much more real...

I was doing a mixture of elliptical, Zumba. and this video before I got sick, and I definitely feel like I need to get back to exercising (I got the ok from the doctor on Thursday). I was planning on going to Zumba today, but then I remembered that a trip to Target yesterday completely exhausted me so an hour-long Zumba class was probably not smart. I'm hoping to sign up for a prenatal yoga class next week, and also considering this prenatal pilates video (it has mostly good reviews on Amazon and is divided into 10 minute segments, definitely a plus). Suggestions are welcome...

Grey cardi: Banana Republic outlet (old)

Lace top: A Pea in a Pod (recent but I can't find it online anymore?)

Pants: J. Crew

Shoes: Madewell skimmers (old)

On to what I wore Sunday: this lace top is probably my favorite maternity purchase so far (I've worn it three times this last week). I cleaned out my closet today, banishing the majority of my pre-pregnancy wardrobe to the basement (almost all of my shirts are either too tight in the chest area or too short at this point). It was a nice relaxing weekend overall; Stephen and I went out to dinner Friday night, watched The Great Gatsby, and did a few things around the house. We also made a little trip to the baby section while we were at Target just for fun :) We're headed to my last couple of residency interviews on Tuesday (I'll be breathing a sigh of relief when it's all over).

Happy Sunday!

21 weeks + what I wore Sunday

Bridget did these letters to baby/bump pictures and I thought it was so sweet, so I'm going to *try* to write one from now until week 40...actually, hopefully until week 37 or 38 since I am praying this little guy comes a tad early so that I can have more time with him before I start residency...

I kept worrying that I wasn't showing enough, since until week 19 or so there wasn't much of a bump to speak of. But now there's no doubt and I'm quite happy with my little-ish bump since I know it won't be long before it's much bigger...

We got the full results of our 20 week ultrasound last week and the baby looked good (despite all the meds I was given in the hospital, poor little guy). They did see a marginal placenta previa, which will mostly likely resolve with time as my uterus grows. I'll need to have extra ultrasounds to follow it which is just fine with me :) He is measuring just a couple days smaller than he should be (and I know that it is not because of dating since because of NFP I'm 100% confident in our due date)...I'm telling myself that this is probably a good thing since I've assisted with enough births of 9 pound plus babies to be afraid of them.

Tomorrow is day one of a month of advanced surgery. I haven't had a rotation since October because I've been off taking boards and interviewing for residencies, and I'm starting this one off with a bang consisting of two weeks of cardiothoracic surgery. I feel kind of rusty, and honestly not really ready to go back. I've been fighting a sort of overwhelming exhaustion lately, which I'm pretty sure is residual from my influenza A/severe asthma hospital stint. Maybe it's pregnancy too, but before I got sick I was feeling mostly great (they do say that the second trimester is the best).

In other (not really) exciting news, Juan-uary starts tonight (I've been waiting months for this). Best of all, my sisters are all still on college break so we will hopefully be partaking in the Bachelor premiere festivities tomorrow together.

And what I wore Sunday (linking up with FL&P):

Cowl: Nordstrom (old)

Dress: H&M maternity clearance rack (I scored some major finds there on my trip to Baltimore)

Belt: Ann Taylor outlet

Boots: Frye

20 weeks and It's a....

No actual Christmas pics this year since I spent this Christmas in the hospital, but we did snap one in front of my parent's tree last night (our tree, sadly, was long dead when we got home from the hospital). My 20 week baby bump is starting to round out nicely (Stephen: "no offense, but your belly's getting way bigger"). And what I wore Sunday (linking up with Fine Linen and Purple): this sweater (don't judge me that it's from Vicky's) and some black leggings, my 5 month preggo uniform.

We did a little gender reveal with my family after my ultrasound and my sister Ingrid made this lovely cake...

It's a BOY!!! So in the very beginning, I was convinced the baby was a girl (Gianna Marie, to be exact). But as the pregnancy progressed, Stephen was more than convinced it was a boy...he even started referring to the baby as his son. He had a dream a few days before our ultrasound that he was rocking our baby boy to sleep...and after all of that, I was pretty much convinced too that it was a boy. Funny thing was that the ultrasound tech initially told us that it was a girl and neither one of us believed him...a few seconds later he informed us it was definitely a boy (we have the picture to prove it).

I just love his profile. I have to be honest that pregnancy has induced a new level of anxiety in me that I didn't know was possible. And getting sick enough to land myself in the hospital hasn't helped. But he was wiggling around on the ultrasound, and his heartbeat has been strong, and I'm pretty sure that I'm feeling little movements now...

My entire family was together this Christmas for the first time since Stephen and I got married: all 8 kids, one sister-in-law, one almost-sister-in-law, one brother-in-law, and one nephew.

Happy Monday!

Playing catch up...and happy Christmas.

I can't believe that I almost went the entire month of December without posting. I actually didn't even realize it until my sister said "I keep checking your blog and you haven't posted one time this month!!" It's kind of hard to summarize an entire month into one post but here are some of the reasons to explain my lack of posting..

1. Interview season continued...I got to visit Hopkins, which was every bit as amazing as I imagined it, and managed to squeeze in a day to explore Baltimore with one of my best friends.

Hopkins

"Christus Consulator" in the dome at Hopkins

Baltimore

2. I got stuck in the East Coast blizzard on the way back from my interviews which meant postponing my Step 2 boards to mid-December (I was so sick of studying by the end). I finally got them over with, and let's just say that a 9 hour computer exam and an almost-5-months-pregnant bladder are not very compatible. But yay it's over!

3. My belly finally started to grow. It's still not that big (my little sister keeps saying "ok I can finally see it but when's it really going to explode?") but Stephen and I can definitely tell a difference. And thank God it's finally rounder-enough to look a little less like I've been eating too many carbs. I've been wearing leggings every day since I'm not quite big enough for maternity pants but my old pants definitely don't fit, and this sweater has been my savior.

16 weeks

17 weeks

18 weeks

19 weeks

4. Christmas snuck up on me faster than any year before. Stephen was working...and I ended up in the hospital. It started with a little cold, and then progressed to a bad asthma flare, and then ended in an ER visit Christmas day after hours of struggling to breathe. After IVs and monitors and respiratory meds, a swab revealed influenza A. Influenza A is not kind to pregnant women or asthmatics, so with both against me I earned a hospital stay. I'm home now, and we've been staying with my parents a few days while I recover. Today was my first attempt to venture out of the house. I'm still feeling pretty bad if I'm honest...it's hard to walk up the stairs, and I have to sleep sitting up so I can breathe. But I'm happy that I'm home and that the baby seems to be holding up ok (which has been my greatest fear through all of this).

We did get our first real Christmas tree this year despite all the craziness

5. So we exchanged gifts on Christmas night in the hospital (Stephen stayed overnight with me...hospital policy normally wouldn't have let him, but it was Christmas...). I didn't ask for anything this year, and Stephen completely blew me away with an amazing black leather Coach bag. I was shocked when I opened it; it's the sort of thing that I would never buy myself (or ask for) and he came up with it all on his own (partly inspired by his observation of the $30 pleather bag I've been bringing to my residency interviews). He is just the most thoughtful, sweet husband.

6. And for our best Christmas present by far: the one bright thing that ensued from my hospital stay is that our ultrasound got moved up and we got to see the beautiful babe again...kicking and somersaulting and looking just fine despite it's sick momma and the myriad of medications making their way through my body for my unhappy lungs.

7. So we now know what we're having! And am I terrible to leave you with this? More details to come...

Lovely gender reveal cake courtesy of my sister

Linking up with Jen and hoping that everyone had a beautiful and blessed Christmas (and maybe less eventful than ours).

15 weeks + Quick Takes

 Dress: J. Crew clearance/Cardi: Gap (4 yrs old)/Shoes: J. Crew Factory

1. Here's 15 weeks! There's definitely something there, although I still think it's hard for the random passerby to tell that I'm pregnant. A shift dress is not a good choice if you're trying to not look pregnant, but I didn't have another option (that still fit) for my honor society dinner on Thursday so this J. Crew origami sheath dress was it, pregnant or not.

2. You never know how people will react to a pregnancy, especially those in the medical profession. At the awards dinner Thursday, I overheard my mother-in-law mention that I was expecting to the older female physician sitting at our table, who responded with (a sarcastic-sounding) "Well, that's one way to start off her career." This physician had a very successful career but never had any children, which seems to be a fairly common trend with women in medicine. Reflecting on this later made me hope that family will always come first to me over my career.

3. Some pictures from my brother-in-law's wedding last weekend. Neither Stephen's tux nor my dress fit particularly well.  Empire waists never worked well for me pre-pregnancy, but with the added pregnancy chest expansion it was almost unbearable ha. On the drive to the wedding I read Stephen part of the men's chapter in What to Expect When You're Expecting, which ascertains that men can experience pregnancy symptoms with their wives including weight gain. This prompted Stephen to blame his tight tux on the pregnancy (I'm still skeptical).

4. My sister subscribed me to this for my birthday and I just got the first issue:

5. This past week, I craved sushi with a passion, and poor Stephen had to deal with sushi twice during our travels. This sushi is from my absolute favorite place in Lansing, although I have to admit that the non-raw variety is just not the same (also I did not eat all of this myself).

 

6. I haven't worn jeans for weeks and after several non-successful maternity jean orders, I'm starting to wonder if I'm resigned to leggings the rest of this pregnancy. I did order these and these when H&M had a 30% off sale last week so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that one of them will work. Any suggestions?

7. I'm now 6 residency interviews down with at least 7 more to go (I have more than that scheduled but am planning on canceling my January ones). They've gone well so far I think, and my suit pants still fit so I'm counting myself lucky (crossing my fingers that they last one more month). My favorite places so far were Chicago, Mayo, and St. Louis Mercy (of course). I'll be heading to the east coast soon for a couple and am excited to check out Hopkins. More updates to come...

Happy weekend! Linking up with Jen.